September 9, 2018
For Rene Cannon, there are a million small moments that make up a family, and for the past five years, players from the Humboldt Broncos have been part of those moments, and part of her family.
Cannon has housed Broncos players since 2013, giving members of the Junior A hockey team a place to call home in Humboldt, Sask. Eventually, each billet leaves, paving the way for other young men with hockey aspirations to take their place.
"Billeting, in a sense, is a matter of heart and love, but it's also a matter of goodbye," Cannon said.
But nothing could have prepared her for the heartbreaking goodbye with two of her billets, Logan Hunter, 18, and Adam Herold, 16, whom she treated like her own sons.
The bus carrying them and their teammates collided with a tractor-trailer last April. Logan, Adam and eight of their fellow teammates died, as did the team's coach, assistant coach, athletic therapist and volunteer statistician, as well as the bus driver and an employee of the local radio station. Several other players, including another of Cannon's billets, Xavier LaBelle, 18, were seriously injured.
After discussing it as a family, the Cannons ultimately decided that last season was not how they wanted to end their relationship with the Broncos. They agreed they needed to bring back the noise and laughter to their home and billet again, in a hockey season they know will be anything but ordinary.
"It doesn't take away missing people you still wish were around," said Cannon. "It also means that you move forward, and for us, part of moving forward was opening our home again, and seeing where that led."
But how do you open your heart to loving again after suffering loss?
For Cannon's 14-year-old daughter, Abbie, it has been harder than she might have imagined.
As her family opens its door to two new players, Mitchell Babbik and Kyle Sargent, memories of her former billet brothers persist. She recalls how Adam cracked jokes "like an old man" and how Logan and Xavier teamed up to tease Abbie and her 10-year-old sister, Tessa.
Whenever a new billet comes to the family's home, Abbie and Tessa make signs for the player's bedroom door, welcoming them to the "crazy Cannon clan," as the family cheekily calls itself. This hockey season, she found it harder to do.
"I didn't expect myself writing someone else's name on a sign. I expected, 'Welcome back, Xavier. Welcome back, Logan,'" Abbie said.
As for Adam, the family had been expecting him join the Western Hockey League and to be cheering him on from afar.
Even as she's missing her former billet brothers, Abbie is looking forward to welcoming new players to her home again, the kind of brothers who will pick her up and take her out for an ice cream after school or attend her and her sister's volleyball games and dance recitals.
"I hope by billeting again, I can start to feel more like myself," she said. "There were small parts of me gone. All three boys held a special piece of my heart."
In the days following the accident, she found herself sinking, lost and confused as to where to turn.
"I was in this hole, and I couldn't get myself out, because without my brothers, I was like, 'What am I going to do?'"
When she found out LaBelle had survived the crash and that she could see him, relief filled her heart, as she came to a realization:
"I have someone — I can talk to Xavier. I felt a lot of love in those first couple of days," she said. "I'm grateful for all the moments I have with Xavier, that I never thought I would have gotten."
A family connection
Like other Broncos billet families, the Cannons have forged tight connections with the families of the boys they housed.
Logan had just graduated high school before leaving home to play hockey in Humboldt.
"I was nervous, but I was full of excitement for him," his mother, Shauna Nordstrom, recalled.
Her nervousness began to ebb when she heard how her son was welcomed into the Cannon residence.
Through pictures, Rene Cannon would share with Nordstrom details of life in the Cannon household, whether it was Logan carving pumpkins and making gingerbread houses or forming bonds with his billet brothers.
The whole house lived and breathed hockey, with fellow players living nearby and dropping in at the Cannon home, whether to play Settlers of Catan or talk about the Broncos' last game.
Nordstrom now finds a measure of peace in seeing people that she knows were part of a happy time in her son's life.
"I just want to keep every connection that my son had — I want to keep it to my heart. If it's being with the Cannons, talking with the Cannons, it's a connection to my son," she said.
She and Rene Cannon have developed a lasting friendship, and their daughters have also become close.
Nordstrom also cherishes her connection to the surviving Broncos.
While she misses her son "every moment of every day," she's glad to see teammates who survived the crash and to know that a future lies ahead for them.
"I'm so happy they are here, because they give us great hope."
Nordstrom has also had a chance to meet the Cannons' new billet sons during a recent trip to Humboldt. She was glad to see the warmth she saw in her first visit to their home is still there.
"As much as I wished my son was walking through the door, it was good to see the Cannons continuing to do what they love and continuing to give their love to the young men that are away from home."
A welcome to new brothers
The young men who've joined this year's Broncos team are carrying a heavy weight, tasked with helping the community heal, just by playing hockey. And the world will be watching, with the team's Sept. 12 season opener against the Nipawin Hawks to air live on sports channel TSN.
Abbie hopes that with small, welcoming gestures, such as a handwritten banner on a bedroom door, her family can provide some normalcy in the midst of those big expectations.
"They knew we already cared so much about them and that we were so happy to have them just by having a 'Welcome, Kyle' sign on their door, or 'Welcome, Mitch,'" said Abbie.
"I think it made coming to Humboldt more special."
Abbie believes Adam and Logan would have wanted the family to keep all those traditions going and to keep billeting players.
"It was an important part of their life. I know they're up there, saying, 'Yeah, go Cannons! Good for you!'"
"We met them because we chose this journey," said Rene Cannon. "We met them because we chose this. And so, we meet new people, and we form new bonds — and new pieces of our family."